Sunday, October 25, 2009
Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.
The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.
A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
Your finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain
The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.
[Chorus]
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little and
Sorry won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when your blind
It's better than I see it through your eyes
All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right,
It's too late to fight,
It ends tonight,
It ends when darkness turns to light
It ends tonight
It ends tonight, just a little insight
Won't make this right, it's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight,
Tonight,
Insight,
When darkness turns to light it ends tonight
How true. What a beautiful song.
They say its okay. I don't know. I can only pray.
Who asked who, I don't know.
The previous time you didn't want it, and you destroyed everything yourself. Of course I was hurt.
But now just after half a year suddenly you are considering options and all the crap.
What the fuck. Are we going to get close, and maybe you decide that you don't want it again, and the whole cycle repeats itself?
I can't be arsed anymore. Its so fucked up. Not the situation.
I am trying to ask you out soon. If my schedule and your schedule permits.
Asking is not a problem. Whether it will be through is a major one.
Though you said yes maybe something will tweak in your mind, and I am sent crashing down again.
Well maybe its just a primary school get-together, and I am really the special one.
Well, hope hope and hope. Its annoying.
I don't have the courage honestly. The cons outweigh the pros. And I really dreamt about what happened. I woke up feeling dejected and alone, like a rose...
Everytime I talk I have to consider if this is something that will screw me up. Some little things that you do ultimately screw me up.
Well, just to let you know this screwed me up badly.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Alright I have give myself some targets, and one of them is to blog after promos.
So here it is.
Byee.
Okay my exams ended on Friday. The previous 3 days was senseless playing. On Friday just after the paper we went to celebrate Budifatty's birthday at Eighteen Chefs. Then, we took a TEAM BUS (HAHA) down to the nearby court, and the trip was pretty funny because Donovan's badminton vice captain was there too.
So anyway while trying to head a particular ball the ball landed on my specs, and caused a scratch (again). Well of course its out of shape, and maybe I am going to change the frame tomorrow or something.
So now I am wearing my cute army specs. And I really look like a nerd.
We will not be having school till Thursday, and those two days left on the week are post exam activities. Like PE stuff.
A bit gutted that we didn't get dragonboat, I thought it could be fun.
So anyway about promos. Econs was okay, hopefully passable. Bio was okay, though I missed out a few points in the essay, still hopefully passable. Maths was okay, hopefully passable too.
Wow everything is passable right? Wrong. Chem was a total disaster. A complete failure. I told someone that I cried while doing it, and the reply was, ''Wah you still can do? I cry already, but still continue crying because cannot do anything".
It doesnt help that I need around 56% to pass Chem. My daily work is screwed, and not because I don't do, its because I did, and got a lot of wrongs.
Should have just copied everyone's work. Like what we did for Mr Tan CW homework. Oops.
But the thing is for my 56%, my teacher told me verbally since our PW group is marginally late because of a PW meeting. She refused to show our group for some reason. Hopefully she has a very kind mindset of trying to motivate me, since I just barely passed Chem during block test, and my friend told me that she took a look at the list and everyone's was less than 50%.
Amen.
One of the after-promos-things is visiting my grandparents. I haven't visit them since exams ended. Well, I wanted to go on Saturday, which is the next day, but suddenly my grandfather had complained of a leg-ache (if such a word exist), and I couldn't go.
I still couldn't get the reason. He can just sit there and I can talk to him. He doesn't need to walk.
But oh well, I thought maybe I could go like today or Wednesday.
Then on Sunday or something, my mum told me that there are news that my grandfather's leg is starting to rot.
Holy fuck (pardon the swear word, because its a major thing). First thing that came to my mind is diabetes. My grandmother has it, but a minor one, and can keep under control with medicine. I just hope my grandfather didn't get that since I believe they have been eating quite healthily. Like bland, but definitely not ice blended or anything.
So while playing games yesterday I remembered my mum picking up a call. Because right after that call she told me that my grandfather's leg has rotted already. Like worsen.
Jialats man. For a moment I wasn't able to concentrate on my game.
Today morning my mum called me (relax, its routine), and told me she's bringing my grandfather to the hospital. I was thinking, what the fuck, now then bring. When he started having signs, he should be whipped into a ward already. He said hes experiencing pain now, which is quite different case already.
(sing to the tune of One Republic's Apologize)
That it's too late to hospitalize
It's too late
I said it's too late to hospitalize
It's too late
I think this is epic. Another work of genius from Terence Ong.
My mum told me that, all my aunts and uncles, have work commitments, and they couldn't bring him to the hospital today. So my mum who needs to go to the Eastern part to work everyday, is bringing my grandfather to a hospital today. And she told me to be 乖 and not to cause any more trouble for her.
Erm okayy sometimes only mah.
On a serious note, this totally killed off my respect for my relatives. When their dad is in trouble they rather put up a 'Busy' sign, because of work, because of blah blah. Seriously fuck you. Like my parents don't have work.
So I am wondering if my mum don't go today, my grandfather's leg will rot rot rot rot rot rot, like worse than pudge in dota.
I really think family is darn important. Especially parents. Even though they can scream at you, etc, but they still love you. Like my mum who sometimes totally killed me and still prepare the dishes I like to eat.
I couldn't get the logic of just sacrificing work for a day, and just carry on the work tomorrow. Granted there might be schedules, due dates etc, but its just for a day. Request for a 1 day leave. Is that very difficult?
I know I will do it. I thought for everyone its first priority. I have to think twice now. Now I am thinking they are probably just lazy.
I am totally disgusted. Considering they all live at the eastern part, they need someone from the northern part to go. Or maybe they want him to die soon, to get the treasure chest underneath his bed or something.
If thats the case I am gonna commit homocide.
It is a good day today, but it has been ruined by such terrible news.
BAH.
Thursday, October 01, 2009
YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Wow. I didn't go to school on Wednesday. Which is yesterday.
Because something terrible happened. I got a stomachache.
*everyone gasps in shock*
Yeap, this time its real. I am REALLY not bluffing. To quote Derek, I REALLY have a stomachache.
No matter how convincing I am, you all will still doubt me. Oh well.
So the mio tv guy came today and fixed it. So now I changed my crap modem, have mio tv, which the main focus will be the Uefa Champions League :D
And my speed is upgraded to 15mbps. Cool.
So those who wanna come my house and watch the Champions League can stay overnight already YAY!
Fat hope. Obviously my mum won't allow. Okay maybe for 1 person, but seriously a big group is going to kill everyone in my family.
Then you hear goal goal goal goal goal goal goal goal goal. If its a repeat like the Moscow Final I think not only my family, my neighbours are going to wake up.
But today the guy stayed for 4 hours. Which was pretty long. And the poor guy is rushing to another appointment.
I think I don't look like a student. He asked me if I am one. And when I told him I didn't go to school because I am sick he gave the -OMGWTFBBQIGOTPWN- face.
But when I explained to him he was like chey~~
So after a while I went to play basketball. Hey, stomachache doesn't affect your body right.
And I picked up a knock on the side of my knee. Its bruised :(
I think whenever I play I am bound to have some injury. Sometimes to my face, legs, and maybe fingers.
The week before the previous while playing, I stepped on Derek's shoes while trying to drive in.
Crack. I spent the whole morning trying to get rid of the pain. Didn't really helped when we walked around, went to play LAN, and playing basketball again at the PHS Family Day thing.
I think ah-neh watched us play.
Anyway that week the swelling ankle came back. The pain was slightly niggling, but manageable.
Then one day after taking my afternoon nap, I climbed out of my bed and stood up with relative ease.
Fwah. God loves me man. Though the swelling was there (its still there now!) the pain was really very little. Close to no pain.
Then on Saturday we went to celebrate Yanyi's birthday. And we also played basketball after that.
I still cannot jump very high, and when I land sometimes I feel weird. So I am shifting my weight towards my left side.
That Saturday I stepped on Budifatty's foot and almost got a sprain again.
Sucks man. That kind of feeling whereby one wrong moment, and you can't carry on playing anymore. On that day that is.
I am still feeling a bit shitty. As in wann' shittin' that k' of feelin', but no shittin' manz. And when my mum saw that I was playing games, she asked if I really have one, or just a mild one and use that as an excuse to not go to school.
Like what the hell. I was already preparing to go school until I felt that sudden pang of _____ (I am going to be honest, fill in the blanks yourselves because I don't know what to say).
Hopefully I don't feel that tomorrow.
I am undecided on whether should I watch the Man Utd VS Wolfsburg. Its like 2 more hours more. Amen.
I am praying. Every now and then.
A HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY EVERYONE. NO SCHOOL FOR ME TOMORROW HAHA.
